1. You must consider timing when deciding when to break the news to your other children. It’s also important to take each child’s age into consideration. Telling your two year old that you are going to have a baby before you are showing is too soon. At two, nine months is almost half his lifetime. Once you are about five months along, he can really see where the baby is in your belly and that’s a perfect amount of time to digest the news of a new sibling.
2. Make sure that you include other siblings in your pregnancy. When the baby kicks, let your children feel it. This will point out that a real person is growing inside you. Encourage your kids to be involved in setting up the nursery and thinking up baby names. It’s vital that they feel part of the process.
3. Make them feel special. Be sure to spend quality time with each child leading up to the birth, making him aware of how important he is to you and your family. Stress that because he is older, you will need his help when the baby comes. The new addition will have so much to learn from his big brother and you can’t wait to see what a loving, caring big brother he will be.
4. When it’s time to pass things down from an older child to a younger one, be sure to ask permission from the older sibling. If you plan to move your toddler into a bed so that the baby can have his crib, plan ahead. Let your toddler know that he is so lucky to be a big boy now who can sleep in his very own big boy bed. He can help you pick out his favorite character sheets or bed spread, to make his new bed his own. You should make this transition at least one month before the baby is due to arrive. When the baby is born, you can ask your toddler if it’s okay if the baby sleeps in his old crib, now that he is in a big boy bed. Help him feel special that he is sharing something so important with his new little baby.
5. Continue to shower them with attention after the baby comes. While everyone’s focus will be on the new arrival, be sure to let your older children know how important and helpful they are during this crazy time. If company comes with gifts for the baby but not the siblings, have a stash of small items that will be special to the older kids. When the company leaves, give your older child a puzzle, coloring book, or similar item as thanks for being such an understanding big brother. Try to take some time when the baby is sleeping to spend quality time with the other kids.
6. It takes hard work to encourage all of your kids to appreciate one another. With each new arrival, it matters even more that the other kids can truly love each other. Sibling rivalries will happen, but look for ways to help build your kids’ relationships, instead of making them worry that they have to compete for your love and attention.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! It’s only natural that when the new baby is born, you will be tired and your house will be chaotic. Preparation will make the transition smoother for everyone.
Terri Akman is a freelance writer and preschool teacher. Get more tips on preschool development at her website at http://www.preschoolteach.blogspot.com
